[vacation and stuff]

Hey hey hey, it's my last day of work for a bit! I will be off for vacation (thats PTO for you office types) for a weekish. Because of this I will not be able to post for a little, but don't worry. I got things bubbling in my head, and Ninja Ken shall return!!!

Tomorrow I am also going to warped tour. Am I excited? Yes and No. I am excited because Alkaline Trio, Big D and the Kids Table, and Pepper will be there this year. I am not excited because 80% of the people there will be 15 year old kids wearing black eyeliner. But oh well, you take the good with the bad, and hopefully it will be worth it.

Tonight I will be heading to the 10:40 showing of The Simpsons movie, I have heard rather "meh" reviews being bandied about, but I mean how can one not see it?

Oh yeah, and in this comic Dante is all about the butthole pleasures. B-B-B-Butthole? hehehe

BBIAB
-Kid C

[trouble in 3s]

I will now discuss 3 events.

1. The new guy at work takes my favorite spot every morning, and parks over the line, also making it impossible to park in my second favorite spot. I hate him like people who are allergic to peanuts hate dieing from eating peanuts.

2. I washed my pants last night only to have a large black spider jump out from them this morning as I was going to put them on. I managed to defeat the terrible beast, but for the rest of the day I could not help but imagine his hairy little body running up and down my legs. It was a long day.

3. The other day I accidentally lathered up my bar soap, then directly applied it to my hair and shampooed with it. And unlike the previous two events, this actually made my hair look freakin sweet for the rest of the day. The ladies swooned.

Ok and onto the comic. Lets face at, at some point for everyone porn just isn't that interesting anymore. Ken and Ray have reached that point.

TTFN
-Kid C

[its not getting any better]

So I finished up Apathy. And I must in all honesty say it had the most satisfying conclusion to any book I have ever read, ever. It was all wrapped up in a nice little package that melted in my mouth, not in my hand.

I read the 2nd issue of World War Hulk, and was generally disappointed in the art. Normally I am a huge fan of Romita, but that issue... whew boy, it did not look good.

I read about the ending of the new Harry Potter book, and wow, did it take her any more than 30 seconds to think that up? I am pretty sure I saw that exact thing happen on an episode of Muppet Babies (a show which I hold near and dear to my heart). Bravo lady, you successfully sold a bajillion books rehashing everything that had been previously done. I applaud your success.

And the comic today? Lets just say that summer sucks even more today than 3 days ago... and it really sucked then.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Summer Sucks]

So we're stuck right in the middle of the summer-slump and the next game I'm interested in doesn't come out until the end of August. Boooo-urns.

So what else is there to do? Go outside? PIFFFFFFFFF. I find myself trying to trudge through Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, but its so glitchy I cant even get the prostitute to come back to my room so I can suck her blood! And I mean, if the game wont let me do that then whats the point really.

I have been reading a book called Apathy and Other Small Victories, and at times I think it is the most brilliantly written novel I have ever laid eyes on. Other times I can see the author sitting in front of his keyboard just mashing words together and hoping his rants make sense. I am having an extreme love/hate relationship thing with it.

The comic today features a word-for-word text message conversation I had with my friend Joe a few weeks ago while I was at work. He is an odd fellow.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Farting for Fun and Profit]

So like any other day of the week, I leave the office for my 9:30 toilet vacation. But this time, oh this time was different. As I walk in I accidentally make eye contact with a dude at the urinal, he is standing with his left hand on his hip, staring back over his shoulder at me with wide eyes. As I make dreadful eye contact with him, his eyes bulge outward for a second, while never leaving my stare, and he farts. It is a loud, purposeful fart. It says "I am man, this is my toilet, you made a terrible mistake today boy". Needless to say I pretended I had to crap and went to a stall, hurrying past him, trying to convince myself I hadn't just seen/heard that. As I sat there waiting for him to leave I glanced down at my penis, it was small and scared-an eskimo huddled against the cold fear of the farting man. So im sitting there, begging for him to leave, and then I hear it, it went off like one of those old muskets you see in cartoons "BAROOOOOOOOFA" his asshole said. I tried to hold my breath for dear life. And then as if my guardian angel stepped in and said "Move along now, stinky" I heard the man shuffle over to the sink, wash his hands and head towards the door. It was the home stretch, the last leg, I was rounding 3rd and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I was too soon, with the last few steps a machine gun erupted inside the room as he farted "FRRRT-FRYYYYT-FRZZZLTY" and then left.

I swear to you, it is up there with seeing a hobo shit on the street with the most traumatic moments of my life. But th worst part... the worst part is, I didn't get a close look.... it could be anyone... my boss, the owner.... the girl who sits across from me.... ANYONE.

DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Ninja Ken today is old, its from 2002. A time when all I really cared about in life was getting girls, and getting hammer brothers suits. And since girls in my neck of the woods didn't like idiots who wore big baggy jeans and wore "Hook-Ups" shirts, hammers bros was the only option for worldly happiness for this guy.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Out of State]

Hello there, sorry I did not post Friday, I drove right from work to Iowa to help a friend move. It was about 93 in the apartment, I was wearing jeans, I was hungover, and there was nothing cold to drink except the poisonous tap water (really, pregnant women and old people are warned not to drink it). It was one of the worst days of my life.

I was going to go on and on about stuff and things, but I'm heading out. So I'm not going to!

The comic today is pretty straightforward. Pubes, and whatnot.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Hump Day]

So the other night after I got myself all jazzed up thinking about Resident Evil, I decided to pop the second movie (I had just borrowed it a few days ago) in the ole DVD player and give it a spin. And man.

I mean, wow. I remembered that the movie was terrible, but I didn't recall it being a radioactive beacon of crap that could be seen from space. I mean, wow. You would think that the different storylines that the games have had might make decent movies. But we must be mistaken seeing as the intrepid movie makers decide to just do their own thing. And man thanks Hollywood, I knew you hated games, but Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a monument to it.

It is an interesting partnership indeed, with both camps seemingly despising the other. Movies keep giving birth to craptacular games, and games are fodder for some of the worst cinema this side of Bedazzled. Off the top of my head, the only actually good conversions I have ever witnessed would be Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, most Lucas Arts games, and maybe the Silent Hill movie, which still wasn't that great but at least nailed the heart of the games.

The comic today is based off my decision to go back and play through the Halos to properly prepare myself for Halo 3 and to remember more of the storyline. If I remember correctly there was some kooky stuff going on in there.

TTFN
-Kid C