Monday, June 18, 2007
Saw the new Fantastic Four flick (thats alliteration folks!) and was mildly surprised that it did not reduce the my brain to a cinnamon flavored oatmeal. It was a popcorn movie to be sure, but it wasn't all that bad. I mean... it wasn't good, it just wasn't bad either.
And then we come to Galactus. You see, there are certain liberties that I allow filmmakers to take with comic book adaptations. Peter Parker doesn't need web-shooters? OK, that happens in the comics eventually anyway. The Joker was the one that actually killed Bruce Waynes parents? Well thats really bending it there, but it makes for a decent narrative, I'll allow it. The Sandman killed Ben Parker? HUH? Wha? Thats stupid. Dark Phoenix killed Cyclops? Wait wait wait wait a minute now, without Cyclops there is no X-Men. Galactus is a tentacle-cloud monster?
I beg your pardon? There are many things Galactus should, can, and deserve to be. Some words that come to mind are "Awesome", "Real Big", and "Purple". None include "Cumulonimbus"... or "Not Super Sweet". Why did the director/writer/whomever decide to do this?? Did they not think that the audience could handle a huge freaking purple dude who destroys worlds? If we can swallow that a radiation wave lets Sue Storm create forcefields, I think we can wrap our poor little minds around a ginormous roboty guy. I mean come on.
There have been many dumb moves made fucking around with comic storylines that are absolutely unforgivable. IDIOTS. THESE CHARACTERS HAVE VOLUMES DESCRIBING WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE, QUIT THINKING YOU ARE BETTER WRITERS THAN ALL OTHERS BEFORE YOU AND DON'T FUCK AROUND SO MUCH.
fuck man, just do a god-damned movie word for word, panel for panel off a trade paperback. I promise it'll be better then anything a hollywood team will put together.
Gah, I ranted a bit there. I am sorry. It just saddens me to see canon destroyed with such dispassion.
You will notice that there is no ninja ken today, instead heres a quick MS paint of Galactus comparisons.