[vacation and stuff]

Hey hey hey, it's my last day of work for a bit! I will be off for vacation (thats PTO for you office types) for a weekish. Because of this I will not be able to post for a little, but don't worry. I got things bubbling in my head, and Ninja Ken shall return!!!

Tomorrow I am also going to warped tour. Am I excited? Yes and No. I am excited because Alkaline Trio, Big D and the Kids Table, and Pepper will be there this year. I am not excited because 80% of the people there will be 15 year old kids wearing black eyeliner. But oh well, you take the good with the bad, and hopefully it will be worth it.

Tonight I will be heading to the 10:40 showing of The Simpsons movie, I have heard rather "meh" reviews being bandied about, but I mean how can one not see it?

Oh yeah, and in this comic Dante is all about the butthole pleasures. B-B-B-Butthole? hehehe

BBIAB
-Kid C

[trouble in 3s]

I will now discuss 3 events.

1. The new guy at work takes my favorite spot every morning, and parks over the line, also making it impossible to park in my second favorite spot. I hate him like people who are allergic to peanuts hate dieing from eating peanuts.

2. I washed my pants last night only to have a large black spider jump out from them this morning as I was going to put them on. I managed to defeat the terrible beast, but for the rest of the day I could not help but imagine his hairy little body running up and down my legs. It was a long day.

3. The other day I accidentally lathered up my bar soap, then directly applied it to my hair and shampooed with it. And unlike the previous two events, this actually made my hair look freakin sweet for the rest of the day. The ladies swooned.

Ok and onto the comic. Lets face at, at some point for everyone porn just isn't that interesting anymore. Ken and Ray have reached that point.

TTFN
-Kid C

[its not getting any better]

So I finished up Apathy. And I must in all honesty say it had the most satisfying conclusion to any book I have ever read, ever. It was all wrapped up in a nice little package that melted in my mouth, not in my hand.

I read the 2nd issue of World War Hulk, and was generally disappointed in the art. Normally I am a huge fan of Romita, but that issue... whew boy, it did not look good.

I read about the ending of the new Harry Potter book, and wow, did it take her any more than 30 seconds to think that up? I am pretty sure I saw that exact thing happen on an episode of Muppet Babies (a show which I hold near and dear to my heart). Bravo lady, you successfully sold a bajillion books rehashing everything that had been previously done. I applaud your success.

And the comic today? Lets just say that summer sucks even more today than 3 days ago... and it really sucked then.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Summer Sucks]

So we're stuck right in the middle of the summer-slump and the next game I'm interested in doesn't come out until the end of August. Boooo-urns.

So what else is there to do? Go outside? PIFFFFFFFFF. I find myself trying to trudge through Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, but its so glitchy I cant even get the prostitute to come back to my room so I can suck her blood! And I mean, if the game wont let me do that then whats the point really.

I have been reading a book called Apathy and Other Small Victories, and at times I think it is the most brilliantly written novel I have ever laid eyes on. Other times I can see the author sitting in front of his keyboard just mashing words together and hoping his rants make sense. I am having an extreme love/hate relationship thing with it.

The comic today features a word-for-word text message conversation I had with my friend Joe a few weeks ago while I was at work. He is an odd fellow.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Farting for Fun and Profit]

So like any other day of the week, I leave the office for my 9:30 toilet vacation. But this time, oh this time was different. As I walk in I accidentally make eye contact with a dude at the urinal, he is standing with his left hand on his hip, staring back over his shoulder at me with wide eyes. As I make dreadful eye contact with him, his eyes bulge outward for a second, while never leaving my stare, and he farts. It is a loud, purposeful fart. It says "I am man, this is my toilet, you made a terrible mistake today boy". Needless to say I pretended I had to crap and went to a stall, hurrying past him, trying to convince myself I hadn't just seen/heard that. As I sat there waiting for him to leave I glanced down at my penis, it was small and scared-an eskimo huddled against the cold fear of the farting man. So im sitting there, begging for him to leave, and then I hear it, it went off like one of those old muskets you see in cartoons "BAROOOOOOOOFA" his asshole said. I tried to hold my breath for dear life. And then as if my guardian angel stepped in and said "Move along now, stinky" I heard the man shuffle over to the sink, wash his hands and head towards the door. It was the home stretch, the last leg, I was rounding 3rd and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I was too soon, with the last few steps a machine gun erupted inside the room as he farted "FRRRT-FRYYYYT-FRZZZLTY" and then left.

I swear to you, it is up there with seeing a hobo shit on the street with the most traumatic moments of my life. But th worst part... the worst part is, I didn't get a close look.... it could be anyone... my boss, the owner.... the girl who sits across from me.... ANYONE.

DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Ninja Ken today is old, its from 2002. A time when all I really cared about in life was getting girls, and getting hammer brothers suits. And since girls in my neck of the woods didn't like idiots who wore big baggy jeans and wore "Hook-Ups" shirts, hammers bros was the only option for worldly happiness for this guy.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Out of State]

Hello there, sorry I did not post Friday, I drove right from work to Iowa to help a friend move. It was about 93 in the apartment, I was wearing jeans, I was hungover, and there was nothing cold to drink except the poisonous tap water (really, pregnant women and old people are warned not to drink it). It was one of the worst days of my life.

I was going to go on and on about stuff and things, but I'm heading out. So I'm not going to!

The comic today is pretty straightforward. Pubes, and whatnot.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Hump Day]

So the other night after I got myself all jazzed up thinking about Resident Evil, I decided to pop the second movie (I had just borrowed it a few days ago) in the ole DVD player and give it a spin. And man.

I mean, wow. I remembered that the movie was terrible, but I didn't recall it being a radioactive beacon of crap that could be seen from space. I mean, wow. You would think that the different storylines that the games have had might make decent movies. But we must be mistaken seeing as the intrepid movie makers decide to just do their own thing. And man thanks Hollywood, I knew you hated games, but Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a monument to it.

It is an interesting partnership indeed, with both camps seemingly despising the other. Movies keep giving birth to craptacular games, and games are fodder for some of the worst cinema this side of Bedazzled. Off the top of my head, the only actually good conversions I have ever witnessed would be Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, most Lucas Arts games, and maybe the Silent Hill movie, which still wasn't that great but at least nailed the heart of the games.

The comic today is based off my decision to go back and play through the Halos to properly prepare myself for Halo 3 and to remember more of the storyline. If I remember correctly there was some kooky stuff going on in there.

TTFN
-Kid C

[What You Talkin Bout Willis?]

So Saturday I took a quick break from playing The Darkness to internet it up, only to discover that Joystiq had included Friday's Ninja Ken in their weekly webcomic poll, which honestly shocked me. I read the title of the comic Transformer Xbox 360s! and said to myself "Damnit, somebody had the same idea as me!" but no, that somebody was me, and that idea was mine!

So thank you very much to the kind people over at Joystiq for including my comic in the poll, and for anyone who might be new to the Ninja Ken Experience, as I like to call it, let me welcome you.

Hi people, how are you ? I'm good. I just got off work, so how could I not be good?! Are you done with work too? I hope so, Ninja Ken isn't always work appropriate. And anyway, you shouldn't be slacking. hahahaha.

I saw Die Hard 4 this weekend, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Bruce Willis kills guys, things make boom, and bad guys get dead'd. The movie also starred young Justin Long, a spirited and easy to like fellow indeed.

As I was watching it, my mind began to wander, and I decided that I liked Die Hard 1 the best of the 4. But the reasoning behind my decision, might be considered odd. I think the first movie really struck a chord with me, because at its heart it is basically a movie adaptation of a survival-horror game, minus the horror. Specifically, it reminded me of the first Resident Evil. There are several parallels I can point to, how each takes place in essentially one building, there is a progression of more powerful weapons, and there is a final boss that just wont die. I know I had more to back my claims up, but I just ate some dinner, and I feel like sitting on the couch now.

Todays comic is based off of 2 facts:
1. I really love The Office, and so does The Hulk.
2. Facebook is getting creepier by the minute these days.

Oh, and on a side note, I do know of people who do nothing but search for others who are looking for "Random Play" and then they meet them, and do them. The whole idea kinda makes my skin crawl.

TTFN
-Kid C

[Transformers and Messenger Bags]

So I had a very nice 4th, ate a burger, watched Transformers blow crap up, then in the evening, watched humans blow crap up. Overall it was a good day. Transformers was just about as good as I expected, I had a bunch of laughs, a few guffaws, and one chortle. Overall I don't know if it was what my mind envisioned a Transformers movie to be, but meh, it was fun. Shia Leboeuf was close to the best thing in the movie, pulling off lines much better known actors would have fumbled, I have no fear that he will be able to do the same for Indy 4. The movie also had plenty of in jokes, and a few references to the lore, which I enjoyed, and of course, Starscream was kinda a bitch. Delicious.

Yesterday I went to the local office max, or office depot. Or something, and bought myself the cheapest messenger bag they had, only 20! I was very excited as I strode into work this morning, only to be met with the jeering faces of my co-workers. Apparently they all thought it was very funny that I was carrying a "manpurse/murse". I tried to explain to them, "No no, this is a messenger bag, it says right here on the tag it does!" but they would not be swayed.

Damn you co-workers.... damn you to heck!

As you might notice the first comic today is actually just a photo I edited a bit and added text to. I did not think I would be able to deliver as an emotional depiction of an Emo Gargoyle by hand. The idea itself was brought up amongst friends last night at dinner, although now I have no idea what we were talking about that lead to such a thing.

The second comic I think is very sardonic indeed. Does it burn Microsoft? Does it feel like an earwig in the bellybutton? Oh yes, I'm sure it does.

I am sure.

TTFN
-Kid C

[America, Frick Yeah]

Happy 4th of July y'all!!! Although it might not mean much to our brothers abroad, the 4th is kinda big deal round these parts. These parts being anywhere in the U.S.

My plans tomorrow include seeing Transformers, Eating some (grilled?) food, and then fireworks in the evening. The only thing standing between my friends and I and a most excellent adventure is that mean old Mr. Weather. If only he would just bend to my will, and stave off the expected rainstorms till Thursday and I am back at work uncaring!

I have heard generally optimistic reviews of the Transformers movie, although I still look towards it with no small trepidation. As long as the movie has kick ass hair-metal like the 80's cartoon movie (which I got on DVD for Christmas) it can't go too wrong.

In gaming news I got around to playing the Darkness multiplayer....and its quite horrible! To the point where I actually found myself chuckling at how bad it actually was. It seemed that I could only shoot one of my fellow gamers if I stood completely still and for that split second their blur of speed lined up with my bullets. Oh yes, and lag was also atrocious in almost every game I played. This however does little in my mind to detract from the overall package of the game, seeing as I didn't include multiplayer in my brain while I was weighing in the necessity to buy the title.

Today I bring you an extra special, 2-color Ninja Ken special!!!! Its almost full color! And then a diddy about transformers. I realize the transformers one has poor panel flow, and for that I apologize. But you can forgive me right?

pweeeeeease?

TT4N
-Kid C

[Rick, Rick, Rick]

Did anyone else play Tekken Tag for the PS2 until they unlocked Tekken Bowl? After its discovery my friends and I soon found that our lives had little meaning other than to get a perfect game with the likes of Jin and Heihachi. It became a bit of an obsession you might even say, to the point where we had not only named each bowling pin, but had crafted a finely chiseled personality for each. I will never forget the time I was on the final frame, and I missed the Satan pin, of all things! (Thats the very front one yo)

Gah! ... I think we were either really into simulated bowling, or catastrophically bored.

This Ken comic sprung into mind based off observations on the awkward way a lot of people go pee at work. As a rule, I never pull off anything more extreme than "The Change Purse" while I'm on the clock, and even then I think that's pushing it.

And no, I personally have never peed on a Police station, although I could tell you the names of several associates of mine who may have in the past.

PPFN
-Kid C