Friday, June 29, 2007
The amount of playtime I have given The Darkness so far couldn't be much more than an hour or so, but I am already smitten. The game is exactly what I hoped for, its got a keen sense of style, good graphics (think a moody-er oblivion set in New York), great voice acting, good controls, and an solid overall "fun" level. I found myself drawn into its world with a cunning usually only found in Nintendo games, high praise indeed. And now I find myself both drawn to it, to indulge myself in its glory, but also trying to stay away... to savor it....
I don't think I'm going to leave the house until I beat it. Hhahahaha oh it won the battle.
The other day I was at a mall, and I saw this small, shrunken old man just walking about wearing a full piece suit and a hat, looking like he was having a great time. To me, it looked real fun, and at that moment i vowed to myself to one day (probably after retirement)buy a very expensive suit, and wear it constantly, and just be that guy. I am pretty excited about the whole idear, not gonna lie.
So I guess the big news was that I in fact got a raise. Woo Hoo Y'all. With my extra money I promise to save the Dolphins from ever being eaten by me. And thats a promise you can take to the bank.
The idea for this comic came to me while I was peeing this morning, feverishly wishing there was a good cure for a hangover... Apparently its virgin sacrifice. Who'da thunk?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
So you know how I went on and on about Star Wars condoms, like Monday? Well turns out they have something very similar to exactly that in Japan. A certain associate of mine has managed to secure said condoms, and I hope to treat you all with a picture of them as soon as humanly possibly!
Don't have much else to say today actually. I think I was going to ramble about all the good live music I have seen in my time, but I left the list I made at work, so I will have to save that for another day!
Much like todays comic I did get randomly drug tested a few weeks back, and it was super awesome. I got home about 15 minutes before I would have even gotten out of work!! CHA!!!
It was awkward though bc the nurse was trying out her new stand up act on me or something. When I'm about to pee in a cup, I would rather not hear poorly constructed observational-style humor regarding said cup. Just let me go before I lose the urge!
Posted by CJ at 5:28 PM
Monday, June 25, 2007
So it was suggested to me that Star Wars condoms, might be an awesome idea. And lo and behold, its completely true! Imagine having a Chewbacca, or better yet the Emperor condom on as you did the nasty with ones sexual partner! Fun and games for the whole family!
well no actually, lets keep them out of it.
I mean unless its like by marriage? I guess its not that bad then.
Anyway, the whole availability would have really come in handy a few years back when I got Bobba Fett tattooed on my wang. I mean I never regretted getting the fiercest mandalore this side of Bespin inked onto my personal person... but if I had the option of just buying a Fett condom instead those first "revealings" of my unit wouldn't be so awkward.
WHAT LADIES WOULD YOU PREFER VOLDEMORT OR SOMETHING? CHRIST.
fucking harry potter fans.
oh yeah, and yes, in real life my office bathroom has a disgusting accumulation of pubes on every surface pretty much continuously during the work week. I swear I haven't seen that much pubic hair since 70s porn.
Friday, June 22, 2007
So I borrowed my good friend Ben's copy of F.E.A.R. for the xbox 360 and have been slowly playing through it. I say slowly because unlike some FPS games I can't really enjoy playing this one for any more than an hour or two. I think this is the case in part because the whole mechanic of "slow time, run up to guys and shotgun them" has gotten a little stale, and also because its just kinda... monotonous I guess you could say. I am still enjoying it of course, and I only have 2 sections left, but its no Riddick.
And while I am on the topic of Riddick, I am so pumped for The Darkness which is coming out next Tuesday. I saw someone playing a build of it behind closed curtains at last years Comic Con (I refuse to say Wizard World... it makes me feel dirty) and it looked impressive even then. From the murmurs I have heard so far the only issue anyone has with it is that the controls need some tightening. I am willing to give the developers the benefit of the doubt and pony up tuesday with my wad of 20s sweatily grasped in my paws.
I just finished "A Dirty Job" its the second time I read it, still a wonderful book, although this time around all of the pop-culture references seemed a little forced to me. Now I need to find something else to read.. hmmmmm. Maybe I'll check The Watchmen out from the library again, thats always grood.
This Ninja Ken guest stares a Mr. Solid Snake of MGS fame. I just did it a few days ago, and as I completed it I realized that I wrote possibly the best line ever in it. If you havent read the comic yet, do so now.
Done? ok, I love love love the line "Now put your dick in my mouth and I'll tell you a secret". Man, its just so... poetic. That line should be on bumper stickers and t-shirts across the globe!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Its true, I have a hard-on for the master chief. Not as much now as I did in those reckless college years of mine, but still, he is an important part of my psyche. Up to this point I also have been mobile-musically challenged, having only my minidisk player (which I received from the dearest father figure when it "fell off the truck" from my understanding) and my cd player, the later of which has up and vanished from the earth as far as I can tell. These two bold and unusually zesty facts followed by the release of the Halo 3 edition zune has left me 250 dollars lighter, and one more brick of technology richer.
I have been playing around with it for the past few days and am pleasantly surprised so far. Although I do have a few complaints so far- the lagging between menus is shameful, and the whole synching music process is clumsier than a freshman trying to get off his girlfriends bra (of course I am not one to talk, it somehow whiplashed me in my eye and I had to get my mom to pick me up and take me home because a blood-gushing eye makes driving hazardous). But otherwise I am pleased with my purchase. It doesn't feel cheap, it looks high tech, and if I hug it close enough to my heart I can almost feel master chief standing next to me, maybe offering me a cold one, or perhaps some ammo clips he didn't need.
Oh MC, you are truly a gentleman.
As I am sure you can tell I uploaded this slightly less minisculed. Someone will have to inform me which way they prefer, easier to read but you gotta scroll, or all on one page, but squinty.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Saw the new Fantastic Four flick (thats alliteration folks!) and was mildly surprised that it did not reduce the my brain to a cinnamon flavored oatmeal. It was a popcorn movie to be sure, but it wasn't all that bad. I mean... it wasn't good, it just wasn't bad either.
And then we come to Galactus. You see, there are certain liberties that I allow filmmakers to take with comic book adaptations. Peter Parker doesn't need web-shooters? OK, that happens in the comics eventually anyway. The Joker was the one that actually killed Bruce Waynes parents? Well thats really bending it there, but it makes for a decent narrative, I'll allow it. The Sandman killed Ben Parker? HUH? Wha? Thats stupid. Dark Phoenix killed Cyclops? Wait wait wait wait a minute now, without Cyclops there is no X-Men. Galactus is a tentacle-cloud monster?
I beg your pardon? There are many things Galactus should, can, and deserve to be. Some words that come to mind are "Awesome", "Real Big", and "Purple". None include "Cumulonimbus"... or "Not Super Sweet". Why did the director/writer/whomever decide to do this?? Did they not think that the audience could handle a huge freaking purple dude who destroys worlds? If we can swallow that a radiation wave lets Sue Storm create forcefields, I think we can wrap our poor little minds around a ginormous roboty guy. I mean come on.
There have been many dumb moves made fucking around with comic storylines that are absolutely unforgivable. IDIOTS. THESE CHARACTERS HAVE VOLUMES DESCRIBING WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE, QUIT THINKING YOU ARE BETTER WRITERS THAN ALL OTHERS BEFORE YOU AND DON'T FUCK AROUND SO MUCH.
fuck man, just do a god-damned movie word for word, panel for panel off a trade paperback. I promise it'll be better then anything a hollywood team will put together.
Gah, I ranted a bit there. I am sorry. It just saddens me to see canon destroyed with such dispassion.
You will notice that there is no ninja ken today, instead heres a quick MS paint of Galactus comparisons.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I know. You dont need to tell me, I know.
I'm sorry. Did I mean to be to leave you in the cold darkness of the internet without any new NK to show you the light of day? No, don't be silly. I was just real busy for awhile there. Plus the whole "posting every day" thing was cramping my style. I think in lieu of latsa posts, then none for 2 weeks, i will try and follow the PA example of MWF posts. I think I can do that.
Do you think you can too?
Oh yeah, but there wont be one this Friday, hahahah. I am taking a half day Friday and going camping with some of my favorite people. I am buying a watermelon, a bottle of vodka, and assless chaps. It should be a good time.
To try and make up for the lack of Ken, heres 4 comics, see how generous I can be?
A few quick comments, the running out of TP thing did indeed happen to me, and when I tried to grab the TP from the other stall I couldnt stretch the ole fingers enough to grab any. So I had to make do with what I had (3 single ply squares...shudder). Oh and about the first strip, isnt cave-man Ken just adorable? Look at the way the simpleton is staring into the wrong end of his club. I feel like there should almost be another panel where it fires at him, elmer fudd style.
Well for the record lets say that there is, in fact another panel with the club exploding his head off. Fudd would be proud.
Be back next Monday, scouts honor!
Posted by CJ at 9:10 PM